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This is a rush transcript of “The Five” on September 21, 2022. This copy may not be in its final form and may be updated.
GREG GUTFELD, FOX NEWS HOST: Easy for me to get there by foot. Hello. I’m Greg Gutfeld along with Judge Jeanine Pirro, Harold Ford, Jr., Jesse Watters. And she enters her office through a doggy door. Dana Perino. THE FIVE.
That cracked you up. Judge.
JEANINE PIRRO, FOX NEWS CO-HOST: that’s it.
GUTFELD: The Biden White House has a brand-new enemy when it comes to exposing the border crisis. And yes, he’s got better hair than Jesse. It’s our very own Bill Melugin. Politico got the scoop that his reporting is quote, “getting under the skin of White House officials and leaving them increasingly frustrated.” And why? Because he’s actually doing his job and reports on the mess, the administration cause.
(BEGIN VIDEO CLIP)
BILL MELUGIN, FOX NEWS NATIONAL CORRESPONDENT: This is something we’ve been happen — we’ve seen happen every single day. Del Rio sector, extremely hot averaging more than 700 apprehensions every day in the last week.
This is the biggest single group I’ve ever seen come up to the border. They were opening this gate little by little, and then people would try to cram through and come into the United States.
Border patrol doesn’t have enough agents to process. These folks are completely overwhelmed and this situation is completely deteriorating.
It’s essentially a free for all. If people can get across the river. They can just walk in. This was a single massive group of about 167 people who crossed almost all of them. Single adults. Hundreds upon hundreds, upon hundreds of these migrants crossing the Rio Grande in broad daylight.
The city of El Paso, which is being inundated by illegal crossings right now.
(END VIDEO CLIP)
GUTFELD: It’s no wonder they’re irritated. If it wasn’t for Melugin and Fox’s excellent border team, no one in America would’ve seen these images. Biden’s team would rather everyone be in the dark about, the record shattering two million migrant encounters this year so far, but the White House thinks this is all a very new crisis.
(BEGIN VIDEO CLIP)
KARINE JEAN-PIERRE, White HOUSE PRESS SECRETARY: DHS put out a report laying out what kind of a migration situation that we’re dealing with, which is very new. I mentioned Venezuela. I mentioned Nicaragua. I mentioned Cuba. We have seen an increase of about 121 percent from since last year of what’s going on with these countries that are fleeing communism. So that has gone up.
And if you look at north — the north, Central America in the last three months we have seen a decrease about 43 percent. So, we are in a different kind of migration component right now.
(END VIDEO CLIP)
GUTFELD: All right, Jesse. I want to talk about our very own Bill Melugin not only does that better hair than you, but it’s his own hair.
JESSE WATTERS, FOX NEWS CO-HOST: Greg, again, that’s slander. And I will be speaking to my lawyer. The Politico article said there is a Doocy at the border. I love how now a Doocy is like lingo for a reporter that annoys Democrats like, see the guy in the back, Reuters, he’s a real Doocy.
DANA PERINO, FOX NEWS CO-HOST: Big guy.
WATTERS: And so, right. So, we have our own very stupid son of a bitch down at the border now, too, which is great.
So, the White House says there’s an alarmist quality to his reporting. So, Biden lets in the record amount of illegals, record amount of fentanyl, record amount of people on the terror watch list. But they’re like, don’t be alarmed by this. The border is secure. They’re not alarmed by any of that. They’re alarmed that someone else is alarmed.
WATTERS: So, then, they say they’re upset because our border Doocy uses drones. And they’d prefer that he uses a tripod because the drone takes too much of a dramatic kind of footage. Now, this is the same political party that hired a Hollywood producer to produce a mini-series about January 6th, with crying sound effects and about a thousand different camera angles.
Then they said they’re mad at our border Doocy because DeSantis leaked to him. They told him that he was going to do the flights to Martha’s Vineyard. I mean, at least DeSantis tells them that he’s doing this. Biden just flies them anywhere. Doesn’t tell anybody what he’s doing. He does it in secret.
And then they complained about the lack of nuance. They’re saying that he focuses too much on the number of the migrants. And instead of explaining the root causes of the situation. Now I’ve heard the border Doocy explained the root causes and he says the causes are coming from the White House.
They designated all the Trump border policies. They’d stopped building the border wall and they’ve encouraged them to come over and they’re giving them free bus passes and free plane tickets.
The bottom line is this. There’s only one reporter on the border.
WATTERS: They don’t want even one.
WATTERS: that’s what they don’t want.
GUTFELD: that’s a great point. Although border Doocy just sounds like something disgusting you find when there’s no bathroom around.
Judge, you know, what’s interesting. He, OK, they’re calling him irritating, but remember we used to feel that Jim Acosta was irritating, but his irritating was obnoxiously ideological, where this is just a guy who’s just reporting on things.
PIRRO: Yes. All of a sudden, the facts and the truth are not what they’re concerned about. They really think — Karine Jean-Pierre says, I don’t know why we would reach out to them. They don’t want a solution. They’re putting people’s lives at risk.
So now she’s talking about people like Bill Melugin, he’s not looking for a solution. He’s just reporting the facts. Well, isn’t that what Bill Melugin is supposed to do? And what’s amazing is when Karine Jean-Pierre, she starts talking about the fact that this is all new.
How is this new that we’ve got these 18 months? We’ve been watching these individuals from Cuba, Nicaragua and Venezuela, and, you know, what’s amazing? Today, I think it was Ned Price who was on the channel and he was talking about all the successful efforts they’ve made to try to resolve the crisis.
And he talks about this summit that they had of the Western Hemisphere this past summer to deal with these issues. And guess who wasn’t invited. Cuba, Nicaragua and Venezuela. I mean, they — they don’t even talk to them.
PIRRO: Let alone, try to figure out how to resolve the issue. And you know what, they want to put the burden on Bill Melugin to decide what are the root causes? Isn’t that supposed to be Kamala’s job?
GUTFELD: He’s doing a better job than Kamala.
WATTERS: He is.
PIRRO: He is.
GUTFELD: He should be the vice president.
PIRRO: At least he shows up every day.
GUTFELD: Yes, that’s true. that’s true. And he doesn’t have an annoying laugh. Harold, it seems to me that whenever a problem is illustrated it’s either called a stunt or an irritation. What do you think?
HAROLD FORD, JR., FOX NEWS CO-HOST: Well, I think everything that’s been said is right here. Bill Melugin should be applauded for what he’s doing. You only criticize, and Dana has a much more informed perspective on this, but politicians who criticize the press should only be critical. It should say they’re — there’s only credibility behind a criticism. If you’re saying you’re not telling the whole story. There’s a part of the story I like for you guys to uncover, here’s some additional information.
There’s no additional information here. We have a national security crisis at our border. I do wish, that instead of directing anger at reporters, and every president has a reporter or a couple of reporters they don’t like because oftentimes they’re asking questions that are irritating.
And if you would just answer the question, maybe — maybe the question would indeed go away. But we don’t have a policy at our border and we need one. It’s a national security threat and we ought to treat it at that. I’ve said before, I believe we should build a wall. I believe we should invest in that hemisphere. I believe we should have a streamline asylum process to make it where everyone coming here doesn’t believe they’re going to get in, just because they have a story that is horrifying and gut wrenching.
We need to have a transparent, immigration system that spells out for every migrant or immigrant that comes here. How you achieve legal citizenship. Think about the people who waited five, seven, 10, 15 years to get in the country. Did it legally. Watching this it’s a front to them. It’s front and a front to the country, a front to our values. And there’s no policy that anyone can articulate. Please, don’t — and don’t criticize Bill Melugin. Get us a policy at the border.
GUTFELD: Yes, it goes back to the — we love immigrants coming here because immigrants generally love the country more in times, but we also like — we don’t like line crossing.
GUTFELD: You got to wait in line. We like hairlines too, apparently.
GUTFELD: We were talking about this in the break yesterday. It sounds like it’s too unbelievable. But we were talking about how Venezuela was emptying their prisons.
GUTFELD: Isn’t this something that maybe our government should be looking into?
PERINO: Don’t you think, yes. Don’t you think you want to check that out?
GUTFELD: I guess they’re busy going to the school board meetings.
PERINO: Yes, but what’s the nuance really?
PERINO: Like don’t we have some nuance. So, this is a wonderful story. It’s my favorite story. In addition to the migrants being bust. Because here’s a — here’s a little thing that happened. Last night when this story broke in playbook, Politico playbook. I sent it to Bill Melugin right away. I said, wow, wow, wow, you got under their skin.
And he said, what’s playbook, which was the best answer he could ever have given because he’s so not a D.C. guy.
PERINO: He’s a reporter doing his job. And you know, along with Griff Jenkins, Casey Stegall, Matt Finn, Alexis McAdams, amongst others. All they’re doing is making the White House look like Baghdad Bob. They’re out there saying the border is secure. The border is secure. The border is secure.
In the meantime, it’s like, we’re just showing you the pictures every single morning, Hemmer and I laugh. When you go to the reporter at the border, they’ll say, well, Dana, 200 migrants just walked across the border. Twenty migrants are lined up over here. It’s unbelievable.
And they have the — the White House has downplayed everything. Gas price. Inflation. They got, remember they got mad at reporters for saying that inflation —
PERINO: — I might not be in transitory? Crime, Afghanistan, baby formula. And now you have the border. So, I think it’s also pretty funny that the only reason the media is covering the border story today is because the White House is mad at a Fox reporter and they let it out.
PERINO: It’s my favorite story.
GUTFELD: There you go. All right. Coming up, Vladimir Putin makes a serious nuclear threat. Is Biden up for the task.
PIRRO: He’s not bluffing. Vladimir Putin making a chilling threat of nuclear war and trying to upstage President Biden’s big speech to the United Nations. The Russian leader calling up hundreds of thousands of reservists to fight Ukraine following frontline setbacks in the war there, while claiming he is not bluffing when it comes to his nuclear threats. Here’s Biden hours later.
(BEGIN VIDEO CLIP)
JOE BIDEN, PRESIDENT OF THE UNITED STATES OF AMERICA: Putin has made over nuclear threats against Europe and a reckless disregard for the responsibilities of the non-proliferation regime. This war it’s about extinguishing Ukraine’s right to exist as a state, plain and simple, and Ukraine’s right to exist as a people. Whoever you are, wherever you live, whatever you believe that should not — that should make your blood run cold.
(END VIDEO CLIP)
PIRRO: Biden did get to speak about his favorite topic.
(BEGIN VIDEO CLIP)
BIDEN: I’ve signed a historic piece of legislation here in the United States. that includes the biggest, most important climate commitment we have ever made in the history of our country. This is a global game changer and none too soon, we don’t have much time. We all know we’re already living in a climate crisis. No one seems to doubt it after this past year.
(END VIDEO CLIP)
PIRRO: You know, Greg, right now, what you’ve got is months and months of a war that should have been ended supposedly within a few weeks. And now Vladimir Putin’s back is against the wall and he’s got his finger. He is alleging and threatening against the — on a nuclear button and he’s threatening all of us. And he does have a nuclear arsenal.
GUTFELD: I find it interesting that in this, you saw Biden talking about a — I wonder is 57, $60 billion in arms sent to Ukraine. Does that help or hurt the climate crisis? Just putting it out there.
GUTFELD: I mean, it kind of seems like you can’t say both things.
GUTFELD: You can’t tell us we’re in a crisis and then keep a war going on with billions and billions of our dollars with, you know, missiles and bombs and trucks. I think these reservist thing, I don’t think Putin planned on this. It’s a credit to the Ukrainian fighting force and our billions of dollars.
But this is a, I think this is a good sign for Ukraine because I don’t think millions of Russians are going to be happy that their fathers and their brothers and their sons who were reservists, who may have retired are being called back in to fight in the Ukraine.
That’s the other thing. I don’t think it’s comforting to know that your Russian soldiers may not be coming back anytime soon. I mean, you’re like, they’re not even letting the ones that are there come back unless they’re dead.
So, this has got to, I mean, to this from a morale perspective, and this is really an information war at this point, it’s a war persuasion between two sides. And I think that this is like a blow to Russia to how do they explain this? The morale is going to go downhill.
PIRRO: Well, and you know, Dana, the truth is that with 300,000 I think is the estimate of reservists that they’re calling out. And then you’ve got people moving out of Russia at a record number. This was supposed to be easy.
PIRRO: And now what we’ve got is he seems like a mad man.
PERINO: So, it’s supposed to be, he, I think that either he had bad intelligence or he just assumed it would be easy or he thought the military was going to be — his military would be a lot more effective than they were, and that the Ukrainians were going to fold.
So, none of that happened. And then in the last two weeks, Putin had a pretty rough time of it. Because both the Chinese leader and the Indian leader had meetings last week with him where they said, yes, we’re not for this. And you need to figure out a way to wind this down.
Then he has pressure from inside his own government. The people that are saying like, how could you let this happen? You’re embarrassing us on the world stage, you have to do something. So, he might say something like using a tactical nuclear weapon or worse it could be something. The HIMARS which are the — are the weapons that we’re been providing, they’re extremely effective. And they can’t deal with that, especially if they’re trying to buy weapons from North Korea in order to fight back.
However, I maintain that Putin’s strongest weapon that he will use against the west he’s already deploying, which is to shut off energy. And so, the Ukrainians can do very, very well, but because the west continues to hamstring itself in its energy production, they are going to be in a world of hurt this winter. And we, this is a warning for the United States. We have to have a better policy, so we never get into this position.
PIRRO: Well with this, with this administration I don’t know that we’re going to have a better policy as it relates to energy. And the truth is, I mean, this guy thinks he can threaten us and that we’re afraid of him and the HIMARS weapons that Dana refers to. But he talks about you. You threaten our territorial integrity. You’re going to get it.
FORD: So, energy security is something we’re learning a lot more about and the Europeans are learning a lot more about. I don’t blame us fully for their challenges. We should be producing more here, but the Europeans are going to have to adopt a different energy posture going forward.
Two, who’s losing? Seven, eight months ago this conversation, there was a lot of consternation in our conversation about what the administration should be doing or not be doing. There were those that thought that the president was moving too slowly. I gave him the benefit of the doubt. It turns out they were far more right than wrong.
There 70, 80, 70 to 80,000 Russians have been killed. They cannot call — they cannot impose a draft to bring more soldiers into this because as Greg so aptly said, people don’t want to do this. I think what Dana said is probably the most important thing is we confront this question right here, which is how the — how India and China are perceiving Putin at this point.
They have been allies of his. India has been on the sidelines, which you can construe as being an ally in this — in this effort. And China, and the China’s leader and Russia’s leader got together seven months ago and said there was a limitless nature to their relationship.
And then China’s leader said, no, I’m I need to back that up a little bit. This is not going as we thought. The question now becomes what happens? What is the — what is the negotiated out to this? I can’t imagine Zelenskyy is going to give up any land. He shouldn’t. And it’s hard to stomach, to Greg’s point, how does Putin look at people in the face there in Russian say we did all of this. We lost all of these troops. We were exposed to not have the military people thought we had, but we’re going to back up now.
We’re at the hard point now, and it will take the Blinkens and the others of the world and our diplomacy corps to help figure out how we get out of this.
WATTERS: Well, I wouldn’t rely on the Blinkens to get us out of it.
FORD: He’s our secretary of state.
WATTERS: I understand. But he’s not really, if you think about it, what has he done? Where has he been? Dana is right. They’ll just freeze the Italians and the Germans if they squeeze the pipeline this winner. I mean, if they have to mobilize more Russians, I mean, what are they going to hand them? A 20-year-old rifle and say aim and squeeze.
You’re going to give them some crummy boots, whittle the winter comes around. It’s they’re going to be cannon fodder. This is the worst military performance I’ve ever seen. And I’ve been a student of military history.
GUTFELD: You have, you have.
WATTERS: But it’s not so much all the weapons that we loaded up to the Ukraine, which obviously made a crucial difference. No one expected. The military tactics to be this terrible from the Russians. The training is awful. Their equipment is old and has cobwebs in it and they can’t even communicate. So, it’s been a disaster.
It’s hard to fight insurgency. Look at the American colonists. Look at the Viet col, look at the Afghans. When you’re fighting for your own survival in your own backyard and you do have some weapons, you can put a hurting on these invaders. But if I were Putin, I’d say whatever I wanted to say, you could just lie. What are they going to do? Impeach you? What are you worried about your next election? Come on.
The guy is a dictator and all of his guys keep having these accidents. Every day you open the paper and another one of Putin’s guy slips on a banana peel, gets pushed off of a yacht. I mean, these guys must be really clumsy or they’re being assassinated.
GUTFELD: I feel, judge, I feel the same way about the U.N.
PIRRO: Let’s talk about that.
GUTFELD: We are being invaded.
PIRRO: I agree.
GUTFELD: We’re being invaded. It — we can’t move in our city because the U.N. is here.
PERINO: It was great when there was COVID and there was no U.N.
GUTFELD: Yes, I know. And now they’re back.
PERINO: (Inaudible) America.
GUTFELD: They’re back. They’re using all our escort services, all of our taxis.
WATTERS: You can’t get an escort.
GUTFELD: You can’t get an escort.
PIRRO: And know what else?
GUTFELD: Or restaurant.
PIRRO: And we end up paying for it.
PIRRO: And that’s a shame.
WATTERS: We’re paying for the escorts.
PIRRO: Now up next, woke companies are hell bent on cramming their left- wing agenda down your throat, whether you like it or not.
WATTERS: Woke CEOs once again thinking they know best when it comes to what’s good for society. The guy who runs personal hygiene brand at Unilever, big fan, says anyone who isn’t on the woke train is destroying the world.
(BEGIN VIDEO CLIP)
ALAN JOPE, CEO, UNILEVER: Stating the obvious that we have an emergency, we have a climate emergency is becoming an unpopular thing to do. This anti-U.S. sustainability backlash. This anti woke backlash is incredibly dangerous for the world. And the first thing that Unilever will do is we will not back down on this agenda, despite these populous accusations.
(END VIDEO CLIP)
WATTERS: And it doesn’t stop there. Woke companies are stealing a page from Biden’s COVID playbook, call anything a crisis to get cash. Watch.
(BEGIN VIDEO CLIP)
DAMILOLA OGUNBIYI, CO-CHAIR, UN-ENERGY: I first recognize it’s a crisis. And you know, just how we found is that 14 or 17 trillion for COVID. The money must be there somewhere.
(END VIDEO CLIP)
WATTERS: The money must be there somewhere.
WATTERS: It’s our money.
PERINO: It grows on trees.
PERINO: What did you hear? that’s something happens.
GUTFELD: that’s why they’re pro-climate. So, we got more trees.
PERINO: Exactly. We need more trees. We can get more money. ESG forces companies to prioritize political causes over their shareholders. that’s what it does. And there’s a lot of commentary now about the E part of ESG, the environmental part, but I think the S, the social part is also really interesting.
Because, for example, if a company does not take, doesn’t allow for reimbursement of travel for an abortion, the employees at that company might declare it a hostile work environment. And then in the ESG guidelines, you can get docked. And that hurts the company. Or you’re like Delta Airlines.
And you take a ridiculous position about the Georgia voting law because you don’t want to get docked even despite the facts. So, I think that you — there’s a lot to be said here about investing in a — in a way that protects the environment and is good for the — well, I guess the shareholders.
But the whole idea of the social notion of it and the environmental piece of it is really, I think, leading this down a path where you have corporations then that will be speaking for the left, even if they don’t want to.
WATTERS: Did my people at Delta do something we don’t like? I’m going to talk to the CEO though —
PERINO: No, you remember —
PIRRO: No, no. Delta is a good company. Who’s —
WATTERS: That’s right. Yes, they are.
PIRRO: Who’s the question going to?
WATTERS: Let’s go to you, Judge.
PIRRO: OK, good. All right, look —
GUTFELD: Are you ready?
PIRRO: Here’s the bottom line. Companies should be concerned about their bottom line. They have a fiduciary responsibility to their shareholders, to their bottom line. And all this other stuff, they may feel good about it. It has nothing to do with the bottom line. So, don’t interfere with my ability to make money. I’m not going to buy any stock in your company. I’m not even going to buy your products anymore with this woke nonsense.
And the perfect example is Disney’s public approval plummeted from 77 percent to 33 percent when they decided to get involved in the Don’t Say Gay Law in in Florida. Now why, why? That’s none of their business. It has nothing to do with their company. Because they let a few employees tried to determine what the company is going to do in a social and environmental way. Government is about the bottom line and nothing else.
WATTERS: They make Lever 2000 I hear, the soap. It’s the last time I use Lever 2000.
FORD JR.: Are you talking to me?
WATTERS: I’m going to vote with my personal hygiene products.
PIRRO: Soap. Vote with my soap.
WATTERS: Vote with my soap. How did I not know that one?
FORD JR.: So, when — it’s interesting to me. When Republicans don’t like something that goes about —
WATTERS: Careful, Harold. Careful.
FORD JR.: No, no, no — you call it woke when Democrats don’t like something that’s being said or that’s being done, they want to cancel it. We all got to take a breath here and take a step back because in the context, the way we talk about these things, both Elon Musk and Steve Jobs who I think are the greatest visionaries — business visionaries of my lifetime would have probably been called woke or been attempting to cancel. Musk wanted to make electric cars.
And I differ with Dana. I have a little different point of view about the – –
FORD JR.: — about the environmental, social, and governance piece. I don’t think it’s all political. I think there’s something to be said for. But under your analogy, you might call Musk woke, you might call Steve —
FORD JR.: Because Musk said we’re going to take the combustible engine and make it obsolete. We’re going to do something different.
GUTFELD: But —
PIRRO: That was his company.
FORD JR.: I know. But it’s still this guy’s saying, look, I’m not here to – – I’m just saying look, we all got to —
PIRRO: Yes, you are here to argue.
FORD JR.: We got to take a step back here. Jobs who revolutionized the way we consume — buy and consume groceries, music, other entertainment content. He might have been called woke. He might have been — he might have been — someone might have tried to cancel him because they didn’t like how easy or how free it might have been.
All I’m saying is some people deserve to be called woke. Some people deserve to be canceled. But before we quickly and just reflexively do it, I think we ought to just take a breath. Everybody, Democrats, Republicans, Independents alike, and assess things without the political lens that I think we all seem to conveniently and reflexively do.
PIRRO: If Elon Musk wants to start a company for electric cars, he shouldn’t be able to do it. He is not —
FORD JR.: He did. He’s the richest man in the world.
PIRRO: He’s not taking a company and changing it. Go ahead.
GUTFELD: The important thing here is to define what we’re talking about. And Dana got to it, but I just want to expand it because people at home probably don’t know what ESG is, right? It stands for Environment, Social and Governance issues. And it’s a — it’s a corporate policy that’s being instituted in some companies, mainly large companies, because they can — they can shoulder the burden that small companies can’t.
This policy exists independent of its shareholders and its customers. It actually gets between them, right? It shifts the attention onto social justice and climate issue, again, to your point, putting politics over profits. So, if I were a shareholder, I would be livid. I would sell my stock immediately. I would only invest in companies that do not participate in this.
There’s another little uglier part going on here. Unilever is like a really, really, really wealthy person who brags about giving to charity, even though it’s a tiny percentage, they never give enough to feel it. So, what they’re asking and demanding of other companies, they can’t do. So, all these — all these big giant companies, they are virtue signaling. They’re saying, look how good we are. We care about social issues, and we care about — they’re only doing it to cover their asses and we know that. That’s all this — that’s all the woke corporate policy is, it’s to keep the activism out of their front and backyard.
This is a virtue signal, just like a super expensive graduate degree is for a wealthy person, a wealthy dumb person who wants to buy a degree so they look super smart. That’s all this is. This makes them look compassionate. That’s — it’s like a six-figure liberal arts degree that a rich kid gets and then they get their debt canceled and we end up paying. That’s what ESG is. ESG is simply a corporate policy that hurts the shareholder and the customer. Don’t forget that because they don’t want you to know that. They want you to remain confused.
PERINO: Can I add one thing? So — and then you get a score. So, your company gets a score and they’ll put that on their LinkedIn, right?
PERINO: Like, so for younger employees that want to come work at the company, they say, well, our ESG score is a 98. Oh, well, wow. They must be amazing.
GUTFELD: It’s a virtue signal.
GUTFELD: It’s a pure virtue — I’m sure Fox isn’t doing this, right, Jesse? I hope not. Because if they are, I change my mind. This is the greatest thing.
WATTERS: Are you saying, we have to give so much to charity that it hurts?
GUTFELD: Yes. I never heard that before. Ahead, the ladies of The View lobbing and ethnic attack at Nikki Haley.
FORD JR.: The ladies of The View are back and causing more controversy. Co- host Sunny Hostin taking a cheap shot at former U.N. Ambassador Nikki Haley, accusing her of trying to hide her Indian heritage.
(BEGIN VIDEO CLIP)
ALYSSA FARAH GRIFFIN, CO-HOST, THE VIEW: I’d love to see Nikki Haley. I’d love to see Liz Cheney. I’d love to see —
SUNNY HOSTIN, CO-HOST, THE VIEW: And Nikki Haley, the chameleon.
GRIFFIN: Nikki Haley was incredibly effective governor of South Carolina.
HOSTIN: What is her real name again? There’s some of us that can be chameleons and decide not to embrace our ethnicity so that we can pass to the real —
GRIFFIN: I don’t think that’s fair.
SARA HAINES, HOST, THE VIEW: Sunny, you go by a different name.
(END VIDEO CLIP)
FORD JR.: And Ambassador Haley fired right back.
(BEGIN VIDEO CLIP)
NIKKI HALEY, FORMER U.S. AMBASSADOR TO THE UNITED NATION: They can’t stand the fact that a minority female would be a conservative Republican. I embrace my Indian heritage. I have written two books that describe the struggles that my family had, what it was like growing up.
When they go after something like your name or your looks, they don’t have anything else. That shows you’re winning and I’ll take that win all day long. What happened on the view is, it’s Democrats that are racist. These liberal extremists are the ones that are racist. They’re the ones that won’t — that think minorities are incapable of going to the DMV to get an ID to vote. They’re the ones that are racist that say minority parents are incapable of finding the school for their children.
(END VIDEO CLIP)
FORD JR.: Greg, you had a reaction to that.
GUTFELD: I think this is something everybody should remember. When you live in a bubble you can never see around the corner. I came up with that this morning.
PERINO: I love that.
GUTFELD: Isn’t that amazing? Whether you’re left or your right, if you’re in a bubble, you will always be surprised by your own curated ignorance. And that’s what happened to Sunny. You would think somebody with a made up name like Sunny would be able to see around the corner when she criticizes Nikki for having what she thought was a made up name, but it’s not, it’s a real name.
If you live outside of bubble, you would be aware that you can actually see the second step. But there are — the problem with The View is that they’re an entry level version of awareness. They can’t — because they’re a bubble within a bubble, so they have no — she was like totally surprised. The girl goes, but your name is Sunny and she was — well, that’s different. I mean, no one can pronounce my name. And it’s like, no, no, no, you should have seen that coming. But you can’t because you live in a bubble.
You can’t see around the corners, because you’re trapped. And it is so funny that her name is Sunny. We’ve said it before, but she’s as sunny as death row. And I would just advise The View to find a smart conservative for their show because they need to have somebody there that can kind of inform them. There is absolutely, Harold, no learning curve on The View.
Have you ever noticed this? For a show that makes so many mistakes? It’s only getting worse. It’s like when we make a mistake, the show always gets better because we learn from it. They just get further and further down into the morass of their own incompetence and ignorance. Frankly, I’m appalled.
FORD JR.: Dana?
WATTERS: Like —
FORD JR.: Oh, no, Jesse —
WATTERS: Like when you thought (INAUDIBLE) was dead, the show got much better after that.
GUTFELD: Yes, yes. I remember when I thought that Veal was a different animal. Remember?
WATTERS: Yes, you didn’t know what animal.
GUTFELD: I didn’t know what animal. And then when I learned, I instantly became more aware of what a veal is. It’s actually a calf.
PERINO: Baby calf.
WATTERS: You’re still learning.
FORD JR.: Dana, if you remember the topic we’re on.
PERINO: I do. Because this is the other thing. I’m just like, do they read? I mean, this attack on Nikki Haley has been made so many times and been debunked so many times that if you follow politics at all, you know that. Nikki means little one. It’s on her birth certificate.
FORD JR.: Isn’t her middle name Nikki?
PERINO: Yes, it’s her middle name. And she goes — she goes — I don’t remember the first name, but Nikki is her middle. And then her last name is Haley because she got married and adopted her husband’s name.
PIRRO: Husband’s name.
PERINO: And the thing is — funny to me about The View as well is why not just celebrate the fact that she was an amazing governor. You can disagree with her, whatever, but she’s accomplished a lot of things. And so they have to tear down for somebody that’s not even true. It’s bizarre.
PIRRO: It’s — there is so much hate that’s coming from the left, they have to make it up. And amazing part of it is when she says — when they say your name — you know you call yourself Sunny. And she says, that’s because Americans are too stupid or undereducated to be able to say Asuncion. I mean, really? We’re stupid? And therefore we can’t say your name and therefore she shouldn’t be able to say the name that’s on her birth certificate. You know, no — it really is classic. Point the finger at someone and three are pointing back at yourself.
FORD JR.: Are talking to me. I can give it to Jesse now.
PIRRO: I forget it’s your turn.
WATTERS: Her name on the certificate is Nimrata Nikki Randhawa. And she’s gone by Nikki since she was a baby. So, I don’t think she calls herself Nikki as a bailey — as a baby because she knew 40 years later she might run for office. Or maybe she did. Maybe she did. But who cares because Jon Stewart, his real name is Jonathan Stuart Leibowitz. He wanted to deemphasize the Jewishness.
GUTFELD: What about Whoopi Goldberg’s name?
WATTERS: She emphasized the Jewishness —
PIRRO: Caryn Johnson.
WATTERS: Caryn Johnson.
GUTFELD: No, her name is Caryn Johnson.
WATTERS: Caryn Johnson, added a Goldberg. I mean, I’m Jewish. It’s Jesse Silverstein. I took that away because I thought maybe I’d go more places with Watters.
GUTFELD: I don’t believe you.
WATTERS: You don’t believe me?
WATTERS: Because I’m not telling the truth.
GUTFELD: Exactly. Thank God I smell it.
WATTERS: Now, liberals say you can change your gender but you can’t change your name?
PIRRO: Oh, that’s good.
WATTERS: You can identify as an owl. I can go into the woman’s room on Monday and the men’s room on Tuesday but you’re saying you can’t use your middle name? That is crazy.
PIRRO: I though your name was Scooter.
FORD JR.: “THE FASTEST” is up next.
PERINO: Welcome back. Time for “THE FASTEST.” First up, the anticipation is over. The Space Force has released its official song and some say it’s out of this world.
(BEGIN VIDEO CLIP)
CHOIR (singing): There’s no limit to our sky. Standing guard both night and day. We’re the Space Force from on high.
(END VIDEO CLIP)
PERINO: So, no word yet on how alien music critics are responding to this space jam. What do you think of this?
GUTFELD: Is that real? Are we being pranked? Because I swear that doesn’t – – that’s not real. That can’t be real.
PERINO: I think it’s real.
GUTFELD: Was that done by like, you know, like, a music teacher from the local high school or something?
PERINO: It’s called Semper Supra, Always Above. And apparently, it reflects the values and traditions of the Space Force. Harold?
FORD JR.: It’s terrible. I mean, that’s nice but, you know —
PERINO: It doesn’t really strike fear in our enemies though or like, it does it inspire you to like, support —
WATTERS: To join?
GUTFELD: It’s like a newsreel. It’s like a new — it’s like a newsreel footage from the 1940s.
PIRRO: I was just going to say, it’s a 1950s beat. I mean, it’s like, where’s that from?
WATTERS: Listen, guys, 100 years from now, the only thing left of the Trump presidency will be Space Force and the wall, so show some respect.
FORD JR.: OK, Scooter.
PERINO: Oh, we have another one. OK, up next, what’s worse than listening to someone learning how to play an instrument? How about an entire flight of people? This is horrible. Southwest Airlines getting mocked after giving out ukuleles to Hawaiian-bound passengers. But what about the people who just want to sleep? I — you know, I’m sensitive to noise, Judge. I would have gone insane.
PIRRO: I would have hung myself.
PIRRO: I mean, people go on an airplane. If you go into Hawaii, you got a long trip. OK, you want to read a book, you want to sleep. You have people playing ukuleles. People are drinking and playing. Can you imagine what that’s like?
GUTFELD: I have to disagree with you because this is based — this is based on a really important internal truth. No one on a flight to Hawaii is in a bad mood. You should think about that. Like, they’re like sitting there going like — how can you get upset when you’re going to Hawaii? Give me a ukulele.
PERINO: OK, OK, I can see that. Would you play the ukulele?
WATTERS: No, I’d get the ukulele after I land in Hawaii. They give you the lay, they give you the ukulele, and then you’re set. Not on the plane.
PERINO: Right. And then, Harold, what would you do with —
PIRRO: What if you have kids?
PERINO: — kids if you give them a ukulele? You should take it away.
FORD JR.: I have — I’m with Greg. I have a ball on this plane. My kids —
WATTERS: I’m going to smash that ukulele right over your head.
PERINO: Well, let me just tell you. When we all —
FORD JR.: This is Scooter Watters, ladies and gentlemen.
PERINO: Let’s just see. When we go to the Patriot Awards in November who’s flying with who. I’m with the judge. “ONE MORE THING” is up next.
GUTFELD: “ONE MORE THING.” Judge.
PIRRO: OK. Have you ever lost a dog? Well, there’s a new way to locate your dog and the family in England found out. They had a missing dog, Hilda. And a woman decided that she would send her drone to find and locate the puppy for free as a bad storm approach. She made sure she located it and she said she does it purely for her love of dogs.
WATTERS: That’s good.
PIRRO: And even has a Facebook group where users can share lost dog post. And she can share happy endings.
PERINO: What does that mean?
GUTFELD: I don’t know. But you know what? It’s my turn. So, tonight we have Jared Kushner, Mike Baker, Kat Timpf, and Tyrus. This is going to be a great show. We’ve been kicking butt all week. And my live shows: Saturday, October 1st, Foxwoods Casino in Connecticut with Jamie Lissow opening. And then I’ll be in Sugarland, Texas, November 19. Kat Timpf will be opening for me. And that — go to ggutfeld.com.
Let’s do this, speaking of lot. Navigation tips. This is much like yours, Judge. How did this happen? Take a look at this guy. This is a seal. This is a sea lion.
WATTERS: Oh, stop it.
WATTERS: That’s a sea lion that is now on a dairy farm in Australia. How did this big fat cow — because that is an ocean cow — appeared with all these other cows? No one really knows. But he did find his way back to the sea.
PERINO: Really? No one knows.
GUTFELD: No. No one really knows.
PERINO: Oh, that’s great video.
PIRRO: Oh, you know, Greg.
GUTFELD: I do know, but I’m not telling you. I’m not telling you. He was airdropped. Oh, excuse me, Judge. (INAUDIBLE).
PIRRO: It’s all right.
PERINO: OK, let me tell you this 10-year-old from England, Nottinghamshire or something. I can’t say that one. Anyway, this is his first time doing a double backflip. See his reaction. He didn’t even realize he could do it. Super, super cute.
(BEGIN VIDEO CLIP)
UNIDENTIFIED MALE: No way.
(END VIDEO CLIP)
PERINO: He’s so cute. Let’s see it again. Oh, boom. There you go.
PIRRO: Oh, he’s so happy.
PERINO: Isn’t that pretty good? Don’t try that at home, folks. Also, a big congratulations to our colleague and friend Trace Gallagher. He has just been named the permanent anchor of “FOX NEWS @ NIGHT.” So, he will be taking your hand off from you now.
GUTFELD: An amazing —
GUTFELD: Amazing water skier.
GUTFELD: I bet you didn’t know that.
PERINO: I did know that.
WATTERS: Yes, but he’ll be doing it from LA, so won’t even really be that late.
PERINO: It will be primetime.
PIRRO: Yes. That’s smart.
GUTFELD: You know what? That’s wrong. He shouldn’t do there. Is that what you’re saying, Jesse?
GUTFELD: You don’t want him to do it now?
WATTERS: No. I’m just saying, it’s like not as big of a deal that he has to stay up late.
PIRRO: That’s so — congratulations.
WATTERS: Because of the time difference, but congrats.
GUTFELD: No, he’s right. All right, Jesse.
WATTERS: I am right. Here’s a lesson to all you criminals out there. I know you watch the show. You love it. Always have a getaway route. This thief stole a car in Washington and took a wrong turn and wound up in a big bowl of wet concrete, got stuck. And just to say — it’s on the sheet. The driver was a woman. This is not to say that all women drivers are bad drivers. This particular woman was a bad driver.
Tonight on “JESSE WATTERS PRIMETIME,” AOC says we have to open the borders because migrants will have the babies that Americans won’t.
PERINO: Oh, my goodness.
GUTFELD: If only there was a name for that, what’s that, Harold?
FORD JR.: Two quick things. One, I had a great pal who had his cancer screening, and thank God they discovered it and it’s going to help him. Everybody gets your cancer screenings whatever age you are. Detect it early, you get a much better chance of beating it.
A different note. Aaron Judge hit his 60th home run this season last night against the pirates. He’s second all-time as a Yankee doing it. He’s the fastest Yankee to get the 60. He’s one to tie Roger Maris, two have the AL Record, and he’s got the leading batting average in RB — leading RBIs in the league as well. He’s in really en route to be the Triple Crown and maybe be the MVP. Congrats to him and hopes he gets it soon.
PERINO: RBI, MVP.
GUTFELD: How far behind Barry Bonds?
FORD JR.: So, those guys, they think about them a little differently.
PERINO: Asterisk. There’s an asterisk.
GUTFELD: That’s it for us. Watch your mouth, Dana. “SPECIAL REPORT” up next. Hey, Bret!
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