‘We haven’t been here for very long, but we’re really happy’
Graham Platner’s Maine could soon become a popular destination for obnoxious liberals fleeing red states due to “climate anxiety.” The Bangor Daily News on Tuesday profiled Shawn and Sara Good, a married couple who recently moved to Bangor from Austin, Texas. The Goods decided to relocate because, among other reasons, Austin wasn’t liberal enough and “nobody was doing anything to address” climate change.
Less than two months after moving into their new house, Sara woke up to find multiple deposits of human feces on the front porch. The vagrant perpetrator had apparently relieved himself after sleeping on a pile of outdoor furniture cushions.
The couple reacted normally at first. They were “immediately horrified and didn’t enjoy cleaning up the mess,” the Daily News reported. But they have since come to appreciate how fortunate they are to live in a leftist enclave that is more concerned with so-called climate change than cracking down on public disorder.
“When looking at global news, I’m so lucky that the big event I experienced recently was someone sleeping on my porch,” Sara said.
The Daily News described the Goods as part of a “growing trend” of “climate migrants” who cite climate change as a factor in their decision to move. “We see it more as fleeing Texas rather than leaving,” Sara said. “We haven’t been here for very long, but we’re really happy with it.”
The couple were also eager to be “surrounded by people who more closely aligned with their political and social beliefs,” which are not specified in the article but are almost certainly left-wing. Maine is among the top destinations for this cohort, according to the state’s Department of Administrative and Financial Services.
This particular demographic—toxically empathetic liberals suffering from mental illness—could play a role in helping Platner, a trust-fund leftist with a Nazi tattoo, defeat incumbent Sen. Susan Collins (R., Maine) in the general election.
The Goods’ laissez-faire attitude to vagrant defecators and other agents of public disorder should serve them well in Bangor, which has the state’s highest crime rate and one of the largest vagrant populations. “I don’t feel safe downtown alone,” one resident told the Daily News in January. Another said it felt as though “the people in charge don’t really care.”
Bangor City Council elections are nonpartisan, but the electorate is overwhelmingly Democratic.
Last month, the city was forced to add a police detail outside the public library in response to a “flood of complaints” about the growing homeless encampment nearby. Earlier this year, police arrested a 74-year-old man for engaging in an “act of self-pleasure” while handing out drink samples at a Bangor supermarket.
Meanwhile, the porch pooper remains at large.